Desperate Love
by Kacy4Eva
Summary: He leaves her to her devices and she runs into big time trouble. How will he accept the consequences or can he alter 'fate?
1. Chapter 1

It was all his fault, all of it. Hitsugaya sat outside the operation theatre at 4th division with his head in his hands.

_That morning…_

"_Taichou!"_

"_What Matsumoto?"_

"_Taicho, I saw Gin in Rukongai!"_

"_Don't Matsumoto"_

"_Really"_

"_But Taichou"_

"_I'm not interested in being tricked into going to the bar or something, Matsumoto fukutaichou."_

"_I'm not joking."_

"_go away"_

"_please"_

"_GO AWAY" The temperature plunged and he stormed from the room. Matsumoto fell to her knees and burst into tears. The winter war had passed and though Gin's body was never found everybody believed him dead. Hinamori was once more in a coma and there seemed to be nothing he could do but wait, and he despised that._

_Hitsugaya wondered around the compounds, " damn that woman, can't she leave me alone?!" He sighed, he knew he was her taicho and she had suffered from Gin's betrayal but he had suffered too right? No doubt Hinamori was only in a coma he still suffered right? He knew that was no excuse, he cared about Matsumoto and he knew he had probably hurt her feelings but he'd talk to her later. After about an hour, he returned to find Matsumoto gone, probably to the bars, or so he thought._

_Meanwhile…_

"_Hey there" said a fox-like voice. "Not happy to see yer ol' lover?" Matsumoto froze. "Leave me alone" She was terrified, she was alone and there was no taicho to help her along this time, he had left. Gin caught her wrist and she snatched it away and spun "LEAVE ME ALONE". Gin smirked "so where's yer darlin' prodigy? Slumberin' without cares? Aw… come on…We'll go have some fun shall we?" _

"_You're a traitor, Gin, I'm not"_

"_Yer don't love ol' me anymore?"_

"_Go and die Gin"_

"_Aw… Ran-chan"_

"_Don't call me that"_

"_My little kitty cat"_

_In a fit of anger she swung round, Haineko dissolving into ash. "Shoot to kill, Shinsou" Gin's sword shot straight through her stomach just before Haineko's ash entered him and blew him apart. "Well that was unexpected" were Gin's last words. Swirling darkness overcame her and Matsumoto collapsed. _


	2. Chapter 2

Only a few minutes ago his third seat had rushed into the room and told him his fukutaichou was lying fatally injured in the 4th division.

"_Taichou__!__"_

"_What's wrong?"_

"_It's Matsumoto fukutaichou!"_

"_What did she do this time?"_

_"She fought the traitor Ichimaru Gin and was fatally injured, she's at 4__th__ division now, Unohana taichou is preparing emergency surgery."_

_Hitsugaya felt like the world had dropped from beneath him. In a flash he was gone, flash stepping to the 4__th__ division._

The operation theatre doors opened and Unohana walked out. In a flash Hitsugaya was there.

"Is she going to be alright"

"I'm sorry, Hitsugaya taichou, but her chances are next to none, she was pierced through the stomach and bled almost dry by the time she got here"

"People have survived pierced stomachs here before and you can give her a blood transfusion"

"Matsumoto fukutaichou's body is strong and she should have reacted well to the treatment but she suffered a great deal of emotional stress along with her physical wounds, I'm sorry"

"H-how long" Hitsugaya managed to choke out, his throat was dry and a lump had formed in it.

"I'd say about a day or two at most"

Hitsugaya entered the room, his fukutaichou lay on the bed, pale as a ghost and breathing shallowly. He walked to the bedside and took her hand in his and kissed it. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you" he murmered. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, Hinamori's comatose state suddenly seemed healthy compared to that of his fukutaichou's.

He was filled with regret, regret that he had not listened to her, regret that he had not trusted her more, regret that he had not listened when his instincts screamed that she would never joke about something so serious, regret that he had not cherished her more, that he had not taken the chance and admitted to his heart that he had loved her more than anything in the world. Gently he stroked her hair, he wished that he could do something, anything to keep her alive, had Unohana told him they had not enough blood for the transfusion he would have gladly given her his but no, all he could do was watch her fade away, drift away like a snowflake in the wind, drift away from him.

Tears coursed down Hitsugaya's cheeks, "why?" He thought, why had he been so foolish, he knew she was sad, hurting from Gin's betrayal, he knew she needed him and yet he had turned a blind eye, a deaf ear and walked out on her.


	3. Chapter 3

"What a pity"

Hitsugaya jerked up at the sound of the voice "Yamamoto soutaichou?"

"It is a pity somebody this brave should die from benefiting our world."

"Hitsugaya taichou, I understand the slimness of your fukutaichou's chances, I will not press you to choose a new fukutaichou. I am sorry for your loss" He left.

Hitsugaya sat on the edge of the bed, stroking Matsumoto's hair, "Please don't die, I'll never forgive myself, it's all my fault, I'm so sorry, please come back, If you die I'll leave Seireitei, I won't ever come back, you were the only one who welcomed me here, you recommended me, please don't go." He begged softly, his heart felt like it was being torn to pieces with every breath she took.

A mistake, that's all it took to take away from him that of which he had loved most, a mistake he himself had made. It was almost midnight as Hitsugaya, his head resting on her bedside heard a mumble. "Gin…" She shifted under the sheets and his head shot up. "Rangiku?" he gasped, he knew that should she wake up she would probably get better. His hopes were ground to dust as he saw no other movement, it must have been his imagination. However, just as he was settling down once more he felt movement and he looked up "Don't leave me… Gin… Why…" She mumbled. "Rangiku?" he asked, clutching her hand "Rangiku, wake up, it's me, Hitsugaya!" "They left… all…even… taichou… Nobody… left…" His breath caught in his throat. "Rangiku, I left, I'm sorry. Please, come back, I'll make it up to you, I promise, I'll do anything, I love you." He leaned forward and hugged her, lifting her slightly from the bed, she was so cold, her skin clammy. He rubbed her arms, wishing she could hear him. He felt like screaming, how was he to help her if she couldn't hear him?

**Rangiku was sitting in a dark, black land, no light in sight. "Rangiku you have to be strong!" **

"**Haineko? Is that you?"**

"**Yes, mistress, of course it's me."**

"**But how? Every one left me, first Gin, then taichou, I'm all alone, nobody cares."**

"**Then you must continue to be strong and look for somebody"**

"**Why? I've given up, every person I loved and trusted left!"**

"**This is not like you, mistress."**

"**Even taichou, my taichou, what chance do I have with him? He's enamoured with Hinamori and doesn't even want me to be near him"**

"**Hitsugaya loves you, Rangiku"**

"**He does?"**

"**Yes, listen"**

**She listened and heard a familiar voice. "Rangiku, I left, I'm sorry. Please, come back, I'll make it up to you, I promise, I'll do anything, I love you"**

"**oh"**

"**See?"**

"**Taichou…"**

"**See, mistress?"**

"**But why? He doesn't need me, I never do the paperwork or anything…"**


	4. Chapter 4

"Taichou…"

Hitsugaya, sitting at her bedside gasped. "Yes, It's me rangiku, Toushirou. Please wake up"

"**Yes, It's me rangiku, Toushirou. Please wake up" **

"**See Rangiku, he does want you"**

"**No…"**

"**Please Mistress…"**

"**I can't…"**

"**Why not?"**

"**It hurts too much"**

Hitsugaya never moved from his fukutaichou's bedside for the next whole day, not even to eat or drink, fervently hoping for some sign she had heard him but it never came.

At midday, on her second day in hospital, Rangiku's breathing slowed. Hitsugaya, holding her hand noticed the fall in pulse rate. His eyes widened and he began to panic. Unohana rushed into the room but found nothing wrong.

"She's going, Hitsugaya taichou."

"B-B-But W-Why?" He stammered.

"I think because she feels there is no longer a reason to stay" With that she left, leaving the young taichou to grieve in peace.

Hitsugaya's body trembled as he watched his fukutaichou's pulse slow on the heartbeat monitor. "Please, Rangiku, I need you, don't go. Please, you have every reason to stay, I know it will hurt but I'll be there with you I promise, you were the only one who understood me. Please, I won't leave again, I promise" He begged softly.

"**Please, Rangiku, I need you, don't go. Please, you have every reason to stay, I know it will hurt but I'll be there with you I promise, you were the only one who understood me. Please, I won't leave again, I promise" He begged softly.**

"**Come on, mistress!"**

"**But what if he doesn't keep his word?"**

"**He will!"**

"**How would you know?"**

"**He loves you that's why"**

"**But…"**

"**Rangiku, even if you don't need him, he wants you and what about all your other friends, Renji, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Nanao. All the people who care about you and are praying for you to wake up? Even if one day he were to break his promise, they would still be there for you, they would still care"**

"…"

"**Mistress, please. Just take a chance and open your eyes! Please!"**

"**How?"**

"**Count to three and open them."**

"**Okay. One…"**

Her pulse slowed, her time was running out. Hitsugaya felt his heart breaking.

"**Two…"**

Her pulse stopped. "NO! NO NO NO! PLEASE WAKE UP RANGIKU! OPEN YOUR EYES! YOU CAN'T GO! PLEASE!" Hitsugaya screamed. Unohana rushed into the room. "Hitsugaya kun…" Hitsugaya had leaped onto his vice-captain and was shaking her mercilessly. Tears streamed down as he hugged her limp body to him. Unohana stood there quietly, she had never seen Hitsugaya Toshirou lose control, his entire body shook with the force of his grief and his silent cries seemed to emnate about the room.

"**Three"**

Rangiku's eyes fluttered open and she found herself being shaken ruthlessly by her taichou now straddling her hips. Her vision blurred dizzily and she hopelessly waited for her taichou to calm down.

"**Wow, mistress, we made it, just in time"**


	5. Chapter 5

Unohana saw the flutter of the woman's eyes and heard the quiet bleep of her weak but strengthening pulse on the heartbeat monitor and fought the temptation to drag the man off the poor lady. Instead, she quietly covered her mouth with her hand to hide her smile and left. Rangiku would have scope to tease him for months.

"Taichou…" She mumbled weakly as he clutched her to him like a doll. "Taichou, I can't breathe…" She quietly placed a hand on the back of his head and bending slightly, kissed his forehead.

As he felt the kiss, Hitsugaya's eyes flew open and he looked up, his grip loosening a bit (much to Rangiku's relief). Amused, ice blue eyes twinkled down at him. "Rangiku?!"

"Thought I wouldn't make it?"

Hitsugaya blushed softly. "I was worried" He mumbled.

"How would you know I didn't wake up but you shook the life out of me and I died?"

"…" Hitsugaya blushed redder and looked away.

Teasing him was so fun. "Um… Taichou? Will you get off me?"

Hitsugaya suddenly realized the position they were in and blushed what must have been 10 different shades of purple. He quickly flung himself off her.

"Now what were you saying taichou?" Matsumoto asked innocently. "Damn it! She's teasing me!" Hitsugaya thought.

"Hey I was scared you were going to die!"

"Aw… Was Taichou-sama worried?" She asked in the tone adults often used when cuddling infants. Hitsugaya blushed further.

"I'm sorry I…" Quietly Matsumoto placed a finger on his lips silencing him.

"It's okay, I know, I heard"

"You did?"

"Yes, thank you, taichou, for your concern."

"If you heard me then why didn't you wake up earlier?!" He demanded.

"Taichou" She sighed "You don't need to say things like that just because you want me to wake up if you don't mean them, okay?"

"I…" He stared at her speechless.

"You haven't seen Hinamori in a while, Taichou" He froze, turned and stalked out.

Back at his division, Hitsugaya stared out of the window… She didn't believe he loved her, she thought he was in love with Hinamori. He longed to be with his Matsumoto, to tell her that he truly needed her and wasn't just saying it.

He sighed and stood.

"What's wrong, taichou?"

He gasped and spun, "Where did you come from and how long have you been standing there?" He scowled at his lieutenant.

"About five minutes, and I came in by the front door, you were just too preoccupied to notice." Hitsugaya blushed. She walked over till she was standing before him.

"About Hinamori, I… Mmfph…" She silenced him with a kiss. His eyes widened and crimson flags burned in his cheeks. The burning rushing feeling of pure happiness flooded him and he felt his lips tingling, needless to say, when she broke off it left him desiring for more than just a quick kiss on the lips.

"I know, I'm sorry Taichou, I was scared that I would get hurt again and refused to believe it even though deep down I think I really wanted to."

Suddenly, Hitsugaya reached out, grabbed her hand and flashed. A moment later she found herself in his apartment. "Taichou, what are we doing here?"

"You owe me for making me so scared."

"Um… I think I forgot to do something…." She sidled to the exit but he pushed her onto the bed and pinned her down.

"Pay up, Matsumoto Rangiku"

"Are you sure I want to?" Instantly he froze.

"Rangiku, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" He blushed, lifted himself off her and turned away. Okay, so maybe she didn't love him like he did her, after all, she did only need a friend.

Rangiku reached up, grabbed his shikahakusho sash ribbon and pulled. Instantly it came lose and fell off, along with his top. Before he could even react she hooked her hands over his shoulders and pulled him down over her. "Just kidding" She said, grinning at him like a Cheshire cat. Hitsugaya gave a snort and mimicking her, removed her shikahakusho. "I love you Rangiku, I won't ever leave you again." Rangiku smiled, kissing him. "You'd better not, especially tomorrow when I can't walk."

-終わる-


End file.
